Coherence ➿

an integral way of being

For years, I inhabited a self-constructed world of relentless grinding and grasping. Accomplishing any major task felt like wading through sludge. I was running life on hard mode, unaware that the self-imposed friction came from a weighted vest and parachute I had strapped to myself. The parts of me resembling a drill sergeant, mean boss, or dictator were particularly active, directing the rest of me like a gym teacher yelling at a chubby boy (yes, that was me) to run the mile in P.E. class. Huffing and puffing—and occasionally cutting corners, only cheating myself—I felt perpetually rushed, barely crossing finish lines before cutoffs. Upon entering the corporate world, these patterns reemerged. I found myself sprinting to win the rat race, instead of lifting my head to realize I could simply step off the hamster wheel.

Underlying the subtle sense that things were off lay vestigial feelings, emotions, and stories that may have once been necessary but no longer served me. Despite earning big bucks and collecting prestigious logos for my resumé, it felt like there was always someone holding a flame under my ass. That someone was me. I wasn’t in sync with myself. At times it felt like one hand was trying to accomplish something while my other hand was holding a stick waiting to punish myself if I didn’t get it done. Not exactly the most effective (or joyful) way to conduct oneself.

During this period, I grappled with a complex web of emotions. Frustration bubbled up as I witnessed others exhibiting behaviors that mirrored my own shortcomings, a reflection I found difficult to confront. Shame weighed on me for failing to follow through on my commitments, while jealousy gnawed at me as I observed others successfully achieving their goals. Guilt stemmed from neglecting self-care through proper rest and daily practices. Anxiety creeped up, born from the awareness that my current lifestyle was unsustainable, yet feeling paralyzed in how to initiate change. A thin layer of loneliness enveloped me from feeling disconnected from others, and myself. Overwhelm became a constant companion, fueled by engaging in activities that brought me little joy and failing to create the space necessary to explore my truest desires and passions.

Gradually, things began to shift. In 2020, I started experimenting with my environment - from minor tweaks in my workspace to cross-country moves. There's no universal formula for self-transformation—sometimes outer changes precede inner shifts. By resisting the gravitational pull of tech hubs like SF and NYC in favor of Colorado and Hawaii, I found myself immersed in nature. This solitude allowed me to notice patterns and stories that had gone undetected and unexamined. Surfing and skiing reconnected me with embodied signals I'd ignored during years of grinding and hustling. In the quiet space of possibility, presence emerged.

With greater self-awareness, I naturally began making conscious choices that aligned with the person I was becoming. My journey began with a literal single step. I started walking without my phone first thing in the morning. My sporadic journaling, once reserved for spurts of stress evolved into a daily practice. Despite the stereotypes, I experimented with yoga, trying a few spots before finding one where other men encouraged me. The powerful stretches and the calm, yet motivating atmosphere became a sanctuary for reflection and embodiment. More recently, after several streaks of inconsistency, I started a daily meditation practice. I’ve learned to appreciate the peacefulness of an empty mind, and to also not beat myself up when thoughts inevitably emerge.

Through refining and experimenting with what an ideal day looks like, I’ve found a daily rhythm that keeps me grounded while energizing me to reach for new heights. It’s a rhythm where I can process my emotions, organize my life, and get shit done. Paradoxically, it starts at the atomic level, with what a good day looks like. I discovered that slow mornings, deep work, movement in nature, nourishing food, great conversations, and limited screen time are the basic building blocks of a good day for me. These seemingly simple elements laid the foundation for the grand task of constructing a good life.

Maintaining momentum required a shift in perspective. I retired from a future-focused, goal-oriented mindset for one centered on practices and rituals that move me in the right direction. Instead of reaching for a distant, idealized future, I’m allowing an accumulation of peak experiences and simple joys to guide me forward.

As I embraced this new way of being, my core values of creativity, curiosity, and health emerged, guiding my daily choices and long-term vision. Creativity blossomed as I traded mindless scrolling for the rich textures of books and the mental massage of writing. Curiosity led me down unexpected paths, inspiring me to explore without the pressure of immediate payoff, and to reach out to random strangers on the internet. Health became a non-negotiable, even during travel and seasonal living. In Tahoe, I shelled out $300 for a three month gym membership despite only staying two months. In Palo Alto, without gym access, I challenged myself to 1,000 pushups in one day. I managed 833, leaving my pecs destroyed, but my values intact. I’ve chosen to quit late-night concerts and alcohol outside of the occasional wedding toast. Surprisingly, instead of FOMO, I feel a deep sense of coherence and self-trust. I feel like a unified whole flowing with purpose, rather than a dissonant orchestra of conflicting desires inhabiting a human body.

Being in Coherence

Being in coherence is like traversing a river where the current matches my stroke and obstacles are avoided effortlessly. My movement harmonizes with the flow of life. Somatically, every cell in my body hums with renewed energy, making mornings less of a chore and more like another stoke-filled adventure.

In this state, time takes on a different quality. The ancient Greeks distinguished between chronos (clock time and linear) and kairos (dynamic and textured). When coherent, I find myself living more in kairos time. Hours fly by when I'm deeply engrossed in a task, yet a single sunset or 10 minutes staring at a flower can stretch into an eternity of appreciation. It's as if I've tuned into the natural rhythms of the universe, my internal clock syncing with the ebb and flow of the seasons.

This synchronization reminds me of the Tao¹, that enigmatic concept from ancient Chinese philosophy. When in coherence, I feel aligned with the grand choreography of the cosmos—the rotation of planets, the migration of birds, the subtle shift of tectonic plates. (Trust me, I’m sober as I write this.) It's not about forcing my way through life, but rather finding the path of least resistance, like water effortlessly carving its way through rock.

As time unfolds, I find myself more attuned²—not just to my surroundings, but to my subtle internal shifts. It's as if I've developed a finely tuned internal barometer, sensitive to the slightest changes in my emotional weather. This heightened self-awareness allows me to navigate life's complexities with greater ease, adjusting my sails to the winds of circumstance rather than fighting against them.

At the end of the day, I feel a sense of satisfaction. It's not just the physical tiredness after a good workout, but a holistic exhaustion from engaging fully with life—mind, body, and spirit. Jealousy and comparison, those thieves of joy, loosen their grip. Instead, there's a quiet confidence that I'm exactly where I need to be, doing precisely what I want. When coherent, the world seems to conspire in my favor. Serendipitous encounters and fortunate coincidences appear more frequently. I feel luckier. While I recognize the subjective nature of this perception, it adds a layer of magic to everyday existence.

Most importantly, coherence comes with a deep sense of self-trust. It's not that I believe everything will always go as envisioned—life is too chaotic and complex for that. Instead, it's faith in my ability to adapt, to bend without breaking, to find opportunity and possibility in adversity. It's as if I've tapped into a wellspring of patient resilience I didn't know I possessed.

Being in coherence feels like coming home to myself. Whether viewed through the lens of self-actualization, God’s will, or evolutionary adaptation³, the feeling is the same—a rooted alignment with my truest nature and purpose. It's as if the universe has been whispering my name all along, and I've finally learned to listen.

Living in Coherence

In a state of coherence, clarity becomes the norm. My incomplete to-do lists and unfinished readings exist as gentle reminders of my desires to achieve and to understand. The past tumultuous oscillation between boredom and overwhelm has settled, and I now channel my ambition into a focused, sustainable direction.

My decision-making has shifted from a coin toss to a process guided by my core values. While not every moment is pure bliss, I feel a sense of agency even in less enjoyable experiences. They're my choices rather than forced obligations.

I've become more adaptable, navigating life's unexpected turns with greater ease. Intentions and visions have replaced rigid expectations, offering a more flexible approach to achievement and accomplishment.

I now naturally decline invitations that don't deeply resonate, creating space for spontaneity and emergence. My calendar is less cluttered, open to what might emerge in the quiet space. Solitude and unstructured time have become my companions for creativity and self-discovery. Even during busy periods, I remain aware of the possibility for positive deviance that lies in uncertainty.

Rest has become my valued ally. I've discovered that I like the early morning version of me more than the version that stays up late, cranking out more work or falling back on old patterns of snacking and doomscrolling. Waking up at 6 AM is easier and more enjoyable than staying up late. Understanding my personal rhythms allows for a natural flow between intense focus and relaxation. Even in the middle of the day, I rarely have more than two hours of meetings in a row so that I can give my eyes a break, take a walk, or just stare out the window.

There are times that I find myself enjoying writing more than hanging out with friends. There is something deeply satisfying in being in the creative flow and doing the work, rather than avoiding it. I still strongly value connection and relationships and now nurture them in ways that feel more authentic and energizing. To create space for everything, I’ve been working out with friends or bringing multiple people together, which reduces the amount of one-on-one hangouts.

I view my practices as essential, forming a strong foundation for the day. Deep work, hard workouts, evening hangouts, and nourishing meals create a balanced routine for me. There’s still temptations and slip-ups, but I have boundaries and tools to maintain this homeostasis.

When I do fall back on old patterns, I'm quicker to detect the early signs of veering off course. I've developed a softer approach towards myself, making it easier to adjust and realign with my intentions. This heightened self-awareness, coupled with self-compassion, has made it much easier to prevent negative spirals from happening.

In this state of coherence, I find more space for joy to emerge. I cherish the quiet moments of stillness, savoring simple pleasures like watching morning sunlight stream in or taking that first sip of pour-over coffee with my full attention. I’m more present when I’m working out, with music⁴ resonating more deeply and movements feeling more fluid and connected. Whether I'm appreciating the delicate petals of a blooming flower or feeling the rush of endorphins at the gym, life feels more vivid now. It's as if I'm experiencing the world with renewed appreciation and wonder.

Cohering Inner Landscape and Outer Reality

Coherence exists when our inner landscape is integrated with our outer reality. The thoughts, sensations, desires, and stories we tell ourselves resonate with our routines, social circles, and physical environments.

It feels like we’re a fish in water, or a bird in the air. We’re in our natural habitat, even though on a literal level we’re living with modern comforts and potentially even traveling. This alignment allows us to embrace the personal seasons within. Last month, after the first Downshift cohort wrapped, I was longing to take a break from the intensity of NYC and the buzzing digital world. I wanted to replace that hyper-connectedness with the connection that comes with nature immersion.

Now, I'm at a different part of the cycle. It's time to work hard and be disciplined, and I'm leaning into that. Practically, this means I'm meal prepping more and making sure I have more time for my grounding practices like walking and working out. It also means I have less time to hang out with friends. Instead of seeing each person individually, I'm hosting a picnic at the park all afternoon, giving each person the opportunity to swing by without any expectations on when they arrive or how long they stay. These simple, subtle choices are part of a larger scaffolding where our inner and outer lives flow into one another.

This concept of the undivided life is one of Parker Palmer’s core teachings. As babies, we're born whole, with no distinction between what's going on inside of us and what's going on outside, and as kids, we play, learn, and cry with unbridled authenticity, without any fear of external judgment, shame, or guilt. But as we grow up and are conditioned by society's rewards and punishments, our innate ability to "be here as I really am" erodes. So now as adults, our life's task becomes a journey of realigning and reconnecting our inner self with our outer life, returning to that sense of alignment and wholeness.

Palmer demonstrates this with the Möbius strip⁵, a physical surface that looks like a loop, but with only one side and one edge. It symbolizes how the inner work of self-discovery and the outer work of leadership aren't separate journeys. They're one continuous, mutually reinforcing loop. Rather than a gated community or walled garden, “the inner and outer surfaces flow into each other seamlessly, co-creating the whole.”

One of my more woo-woo beliefs is that life will repeatedly present you with the same lesson until it's learned. I've started to embrace Scott Britton’s idea of viewing life as a responsive reality that conspires for my evolution. By paying attention to my reactions and interpretations of what's happening to me and by me, I've started to see that everything is a mirror, reflecting back who I am.

The concept of a responsive reality began as mind-bending, but is actually quite simple and grounding. I've noticed unexplainable coincidences and serendipitous opportunities manifesting when I make choices that align with my core values and authentic aspirations. Conversely, I've noticed challenges and obstacles arising when my actions stray from my inner compass. It's like life is this big feedback loop, constantly showing me where I'm at. Over time, I’ve come to view what actually happens not as the problem, but rather my reaction to those events.

I've also started applying this mirror metaphor to my relationships. When someone irritates me, I try to see it as an opportunity to understand myself better. Often, I've found that the things that piss me off in others are actually patterns I repeat myself. Like getting frustrated at a friend for being late, only to underestimate transit times myself later on. Or getting defensive when someone gives me unsolicited advice, then doing the same thing to someone else a week later. By viewing our inner and outer lives as one whole entity, we can begin to see what Carl Jung said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

This journey towards coherence arrives at an essential and practical question: how can we translate these deep ideas into tangible actions that foster durable and sustainable alignment?

Putting It Into Practice

The seamless quality of inner and outer alignment in coherence isn’t created while reading spiritual texts or during one-off meditation retreats—it is practiced, refined, and lived through our daily lives and choices.

Coherence isn’t a static state, but rather a sensation that’s constantly in flux. It’s not black-or-white or even on a gradient, it’s a fluid mosaic. Practicing coherence requires reflection and experimentation⁶. We need both to discover the coherent version of ourselves. By tuning inwards, we discover ourselves and what we value. Through active participation and intentional engagement with reality, we can begin to understand how our path integrates with everything around us. Together, these twin loops of reflection and experimentation form a harmonious cycle, refining our path with every revolution.

Listening

Listening is more than just hearing. It's an active process of tuning into various aspects of our lives. I've found that deep listening⁷ can be illuminating, whether I'm focusing on myself, others, or the environment around me.

When I listen to myself, I'm often surprised by what I discover. I pay attention to the stories I'm telling myself - are they empowering or limiting? I ask myself, "What do I really want?" and in the mornings, "What would make today a great day?" By living these questions, day in and day out, I’m able to align my actions with my truest desires and values.

Listening to others is equally important. I've noticed that people often reflect back to us our own values and qualities. It's like looking in a mirror - what I admire or criticize in others can reveal a lot about myself. When I truly listen to someone, without judgment or interruption, a space emerges for genuine connection and understanding. It's in these moments that I am reminded that we are more similar and less different than we think.

I've learned to tune into my environment⁸ as well. By paying attention to the world around me, I've become more aware of the subtle shifts and cycles in nature, and in turn, within myself. Watching the leaves fall or new flowers bloom helps remind me that whether I can feel it or not, we are all changing, all the time. With this recognition, I’m able to remain open to the ebbs and flows in my internal seasons. When I eventually notice what’s changed, I’m able to lean into whatever the season is calling for. Sometimes it means channeling discipline and saying no to the good in service of the great, and other times, it calls for slowing down, retreating inwards, or even a deep reset.

But in order to truly listen, we need silence, stillness, and space.

The Quiet Space

In today's busy, noisy world, it's hard to find the space to reflect. For myself, I've found it crucial to cultivate a daily set of practices like meditation, journaling, and walking every morning without my phone. These rituals help me create a quiet space, both externally and internally, where I can truly listen and reflect.

When we break away from constant consumption, we finally allow the swirling thoughts in our mind to settle down, like turbulent waters turning into a still lake, revealing reflections. This calmness allows for clarity and insight that's often obscured by the rocky waters of modern life.

The quiet space is like a garden where we plant seeds of ideas, intentions, and dreams. Just as a gardener knows that seeds need time to germinate and sprout, I've learned that my thoughts need time and space to develop. I can't constantly be planting or watering; I need to step back and allow things to unfold naturally.

I've come to appreciate that stillness is as crucial as the active parts of my life. It's like the negative space in art - the empty area around and between the subject of an image. This space isn't truly empty; it's full of possibility and just as important as the subject itself.

I used to fear this quiet space. There was a part of me that was afraid of boredom, of what might happen if I was left alone with the recesses of my deepest desires. But I've come to embrace these moments of stillness, recognizing that behind shadows is often light.

It's in these unstructured and unplanned moments that I often find unexpected insights and new perspectives. The quiet space invites me to sit with the unknown, to be comfortable with not having all the answers. Beautiful things emerge in the quiet space of possibility.

Curiosity

In the quiet space, we begin to hear the faint whispers of curiosity. These are the voices that nudge us towards the unknown, inviting us to venture off into new territories of ideas and experiences. Like gentle winds, they guide us towards unexplored paths.

As complex beings living in complex systems, curiosity acts as a mystical and subtle attractor in our lives. Just as strange attractors in chaos theory guide seemingly random systems towards intricate patterns, our curiosity draws us towards fascinating ideas, people, and places. It creates order from the chaos of possibilities, leading us to unexpected discoveries and connections.

Joseph Campbell beautifully captured this idea when he said, "Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls." When we follow our curiosity, we often find that opportunities appear as if by magic. It's not that these opportunities weren't there before, but our openness and attention make them visible to us.

According to curiosity-drive theory⁹, this innate desire to explore and understand is deeply ingrained in us. This theory posits that we're naturally drawn to resolve uncertainty and ambiguity, finding reward in the process of discovery (and self-discovery) itself. When we encounter something unfamiliar or puzzling, our curiosity compels us to investigate, to gather information, to make sense of our environment. It's a beautiful cycle of question and answer, of mystery and revelation, driven by our desire to restore coherence to our understanding of the world.

But curiosity is more than just an internal drive. It's a relational force¹⁰, a dynamic interaction between ourselves and our environment. When we're truly curious, we're not just passive observers but active participants in a conversation with the world around us. We become attuned to subtle cues and connections, noticing patterns and coincidences that might otherwise slip by unnoticed.

These meaningful coincidences, or synchronicities, often seem to multiply when we're on a path guided by genuine curiosity. They're like waypoints, confirming that our movements are in harmony with our environment and ourselves. While our analytical mind might dismiss these as mere chance, we can find the deeper significance if we’re willing to accept that not everything needs to be explained with numbers and logic.

In embracing curiosity, we open ourselves to a richer, more vibrant experience of life. We transform walls into doors, obstacles into opportunities. Curiosity leads us not just to new knowledge, but to new ways of knowing, new ways of being in the world. It's a subtle yet powerful force, inviting us to explore hidden paths and unchartered seas.

Experimentation

Experimentation is a powerful tool to begin using once we recognize and accept our desire for change. Borrowing from complexity science again, we can use the probe-sense-respond model¹¹ to guide this process. We probe by taking small actions in our lives, sense by observing the results and our feelings about them, and respond by adjusting our approach based on what we've learned. This iterative cycle allows us to navigate life's complexities with curiosity and openness rather than the conventional approach of clunky procedures and rigid goals.

These experiments are hypothesis-driven but not fixated on specific outcomes. Admitting we don't know what will happen allows for unplanned pathways to unfold.

For example, last year, when I embarked on my sabbatical, I had no set timeline or end goal. I had no idea how long I would live off of savings or what I would do afterwards. Through experimentation, in the form of talking to other coaches and trying to coach friends for free, I stumbled into coaching.

Experimenting doesn’t have to be complicated or difficult, but it does require a different way of seeing the world. Instead of simply following predetermined paths or (corporate) ladders, we humbly admit that we don’t know so much. We accept that some ways of knowing must be done by ourselves, rather than blindly obeying books or other people’s advice.

Experimentation is essential for finding coherence in our lives. By embracing the unknown and testing our assumptions, we craft a life that resonates deeply with who we are and who we want to become.

Conclusion

When we are in a state of coherence, all parts of our lives harmonize and work in unison. Like instruments in a symphony, each element contributes its unique voice to form a sense of wholeness. Our whole system of diverse elements is working in unison, like a basketball team composed of fast guards and tall post players.

Coherence manifests across multiple dimensions of our lives. Within our inner selves, it allows parts of our personality like the inner drill sergeant and the playful child to coexist peacefully. On a practical level, it helps us harmonize varying desires, from craving the pulsating energy of city life¹² to seeking solitude and tranquility in nature. Beyond the Self, coherence extends to our connections with others and our environment, fostering a sense of community and awareness of our surroundings. It's a dynamic state of balance where we feel aligned with ourselves and the world around us.

As we become more attuned to our undivided selves and the interplay between our inner landscape and outer reality, we can confidently take the next step forward. Our future might be shrouded in fog, or we might be lost in the sauce, but we can always find the next small step. This journey towards coherence guides us towards wholeness, where all facets of our lives naturally flow together.

Ultimately, coherence allows us to arrive at a simple yet powerful affirmation:

I know who I am. I know what I want. I am doing what I want. I am with who I want to be with. I am where I need to be.

I’m curious:

• How do you think about coherence?

• Where does work sit in your understanding of coherence?

If you made it this far and want to explore coherence for yourself, check out my website.

Notes

1. The Tao, often translated as "The Way," can be simply defined as movement. The Chinese character for Tao (道) is composed of two parts: 辶, signifying walking a path, and 首, representing a person or leader. Everything in the universe is in constant motion, from vibrating atoms to rotating stars. The Tao emphasizes the idea of seasons and cycles, recognizing that multiple cycles can occur simultaneously and nested within each other. In the eye of the Tao, coherence is about flowing through life with ease, aligning our movement with the world's movement to channel a sustainable, holistic form of ambition, free from grinding, the rat race, and burnout.

2. Attunement in therapy and coaching means the ability to deeply understand and resonate. It's about becoming deeply aware of and responsive to someone or something. This concept can be applied in various contexts, from a hiker attuned to changing weather patterns to a musician adapting their performance to fit the audience's vibe. Fostering attunement helps achieve coherence between our inner and outer lives. Lacking attunement is like being a fish out of water, or like the young fish in David Foster Wallace's "This is Water" who is unaware of the complex environment it inhabits. The challenge is to develop the capacity to deeply attune, allowing us to swim fluidly in our "water" while remaining aware that we are in it.

3. Finding Your Evolutionary Niche: In our rapidly changing world, we can "evolve" multiple times within a single lifetime through learning new skills and redefining our purposes. This intra-lifetime evolution is driven by what Ervin Laszlo calls the "holotropic attractor" - a force guiding us towards greater complexity and wholeness. Tom Morgan describes this as manifesting in humans as instinct, intuition, or spiritual insight. It helps us filter the overwhelming choices in modern life, attracting us to certain types of information and occupations that suit us best. Just as Darwin's finches evolved different beak shapes for various food sources, we adapt to our changing environment by reinventing ourselves. In this context, achieving coherence might be synonymous with discovering your evolutionary niche in our fast-paced, hyperconnected society.

4. My workout playlist hits hard when fully present

5. “Whatever is inside of us continually flows outward, helping to form or deform the world — depending on what we send out. Whatever is outside us continually flows inward, helping to form or deform us — depending on how we take it in. Bit by bit, we and our world are endlessly re-made in this eternal inner-outer exchange.”
- Parker Palmer, Life on the Möbius Strip

6. In Two kinds of introspection, Henrik Karlsson describes how musician Nick Cave incorporates this virtuous cycle of reflection and experimentation in a more active form of introspection:

He is introspecting, but he’s not introspecting by meditating on his existence or talking to a therapist (though maybe he should); he’s introspecting by acting on the world. He’s introspecting by doing stuff and then observing how it makes him feel—as if he was running a million small experiments trying to figure out the composition of this object that is Nick Cave.

This reminds me of intuition, a form of subconscious insight and innate wisdom heralded across art, athletics, and investing. Intuition is developed by the inner-outer looping of gathering vast quantities of information by doing things and then processing.

7. In If You Want to Write, Brenda Ueland shows how deep listening shapes us in a reinforcing loop: “Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. When we listen to people there is an alternating current and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each other. We are constantly being recreated.”

8. Inspired by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, architect Richard Neutra claimed that he could heal his clients by designing houses with a fluid relationship between interior and exterior that he called “anchors of the soul”. With a seamless transition between building and environment, Neutra believed mental energy could flow freely. He even coined his own philosophy “biorealism”, acknowledging “the inherent and inseparable relationship between man and nature”. Whether you believe Neutra or not, our physical environment affects our inner being. Living in the chaotic, catalyzing chamber of NYC can be a nightmare or dream, depending on whether you're seeking to slow down or speed up in life.

9. From Wikipedia: Curiosity-drive theory posits undesirable experiences of "uncertainty" and "ambiguity". The reduction of these unpleasant feelings is rewarding. This theory suggests that people desire coherence and understanding in their thought processes. When this coherence is disrupted by something that is unfamiliar, uncertain, or ambiguous, an individual's curiosity-drive causes them to collect information and knowledge of the unfamiliar to restore coherent thought processes. This theory suggests that curiosity is developed out of the desire to make sense of unfamiliar aspects of one's environment through exploratory behaviors. Once understanding of the unfamiliar has been achieved and coherence has been restored, these behaviors and desires subside.

10. Tom Morgan: “Curiosity is a relational force. It’s something that we feel somatically. It is a two-way relationship that we have with our environment. This means that you have to really pay close attention to environmental feedback, particularly things like synchronicities. These are meaningful coincidences, that seem to accelerate when you’re on the right path. The left [brain] hemisphere says there's no such thing, the right hemisphere knows them when it feels them, particularly a cluster. I would go so far as to argue that synchronicities are the primary indicator of successful integration into your environment.”

11. Originally developed by Dave Snowden in 1999, the Cynefin framework of “Probe-Sense-Respond” is a sense-making model to help businesses navigate complex problems. I believe it can also be applied at the individual level. By viewing each human as a complex being full of “unknown unknowns”, where we don’t always know what we don’t know, we embrace the inherent properties of emergence, adaptation, feedback loops, and non-linearity in each of us.

12. Sasha says, “Being in the wrong city will cancel out years of self-improvement.” Similarly, Paul Graham writes about cities whispering messages to their residents, signaling them to aim for money, power, fame, etc. This analogy is relevant across levels of granularity (city, home, room, space).