February 2026: ripples, diapers, and my favorite problems
reflections in the form of a poem, short story, and my usual ramblings
It’s been another full month as I continue to settle into the new job (4 months in!) while attempting to scavenge enough time to satisfy my insatiable curiosities. If I were to add up how much time I’d need to do all the things I want (ski, read, write, work out), I’d need two bodies and the genetic mutation to only need four hours a night.
I spent half of February away from home, starting in Jackon Hole and arriving back in Palo Alto on February 15th. On Valentine’s Day, my girlfriend and I drove eight hours from Salt Lake City to Reno. Per the occasion, I booked a slightly nicer hotel than my usual modus operandi (an Airbnb chosen from the far left of the pricing bar graph). Upon arrival, there was a Shrek-themed rave on the premises that shook the entire lobby with the familiar booming bass of my early 20s. Thankfully once we were in our room, it was quiet and actually quite posh.
This month, my attention teeter-tottered. At more times than I’d like to admit, I would boot up Instagram desktop to click a few stories and then log out after noticing how much content wasn’t from people I consented to consume from. But in what I would deem progress, I unlinked my Readwise account from Substack. Posts now go straight to my inbox, a useful forcing function to prune my subscriptions for what can truly go head-to-head with physical books.
Here’s what’s to come below:
A poem - the first I’ve written since it was required in school
A short story about diapers
Feynman’s 12 Problems
What I read this month
Intentions for March
Ripples
A tiny droplet questions its role
will it ever be
as powerful as the big tsunami wave?
What can a mere speck do
beyond being the pitter patter of rainfall?
From one leaf to another,
the droplet rolls
in quiet isolation
Until the day it lands in a lake
and loses its boundary
A body of water, millions of droplets, at once
Lines blur
in the sea of cohesion
Who is you and who is I?
A flat pebble skips across the surface,
dimpling it before sinking
Ripples emerge, ring after ring
each one an echo of the last
The tiny droplet at the center,
with radii of love emanating outwards
The far flung reach began with it
and ends at the edge of nowhere
Which is to say
Everywhere
The droplet stopped asking to be a wave
And remembered it was the ocean all along
Diapers
All week I had been refreshing OpenSnow’s forecast multiple times a day, eager to see how big the storm would get. I drove back home to my mom’s anyway. In order to rent out the house, we needed to clear out everything.
I faced a mountain of adult diapers, most in boxes, some thrown into garbage bags, but all clean, all unopened.
My grandma and grandpa don’t need them anymore. At least not these ones. They’re still alive but we recently moved them to LA, where it’s more affordable to find caregivers.
My grandparents have been in the slow process of dying over the last few years. I used to see them strolling around the neighborhood when I would get off the school bus. Close enough to make sure I was safe, far enough that I couldn’t complain too much. Now, getting them outside at all is a whole event.
As I took down picture frames off the wall, I noticed the impeccable posture of my grandma in the photos. Her spine upright with eyes smiling straight into the camera. I’d almost forgotten she’d looked like that.
I became aware of the fact that I was dropping off hundreds of adult diapers as I handed box after box to the Goodwill employee. Would he think they were meant for me? I brushed it off. I’ve been to thrift stores before, and never once seen adult diapers for sale. So I unloaded the boxes as quickly as I could, before they could ask any questions, and then bolted. Only to return a couple hours later with another carload. And then later, another one.
The time pressure added to the intensity of this moving out. Mom had a flight to catch, and I had my friends’ baby shower to attend.
On the third and final trip to Goodwill, cradling armfuls of clothes, electronics, office supplies, a rug, and of course, more adult diapers, I couldn’t help but wonder if I should’ve just brought them to the baby shower. I’ve heard young parents complain all the time about the cost of diapers. Plus it was reassuring that they’d certainly be used, versus potentially being bought off a Goodwill shelf. It was too late, I had already donated them all.
At the baby shower, there was a diaper changing relay race where competitors took turns changing diapers on stuffed animals roughly the same size as a human baby. Then I realized I made the right call in not gifting them. The diapers aren’t the same size.
Feynman’s 12 Problems
Physicist Richard Feynman once said:
“You have to keep a dozen of your favorite problems constantly present in your mind, although by and large they will lay in a dormant state. Every time you hear or read a new trick or a new result, test it against each of your twelve problems to see whether it helps. Every once in a while there will be a hit, and people will say, “How did he do it? He must be a genius!”
Three years ago, I made a first attempt on what I deem my 12 favorite problems. But looking at them now, I know I can do better. The first six were personal challenges that I was navigating on my sabbatical, all boiling down to wanting more certainty; a fool’s errand. The next six weren’t much better - all too vague and not authentic enough.
I haven’t completed it yet, but here are some updates to what I think are problems worth my attention:
Attention: The battle is twofold: protecting what we have from eroding to modern addictions that siphon our attention, while rebuilding the ability to focus on a single activity for extended periods of time. When I was at my ski lease in Tahoe, another guest was diligently working on a puzzle. People that do puzzles earn my admiration. There are so many distractions out there that the ability to not only choose to start a puzzle, but also to finish one seems herculean to me. In a few years, when AI has seeped into all the crevices of the economy, it’s the puzzle-doers that I’ll turn to for wisdom.
Loneliness: Sadly, there are millions of people today who walk past each other feeling isolated and longing for someone to connect with. In my experience, it’s the mirage that we concoct internally that somehow, we are the only ones suffering or ashamed or guilty that keeps us from asking for help or showing up in our communities.
AI: If it helps you do a job, use AI. If it’s like going to the gym, don’t use it. I’m excited about how AI can shape how we work, but I’m concerned about what it means for all the metaphorical gyms. When AI is used to replace the thing we’re doing for the sake of doing it, it becomes like having a robot bench press for you, mistakenly thinking you’ll still reap the gains. The problem becomes how to resist the temptation to apply AI to everything. Discerning between what is like a job vs. what is like the gym across all of life’s activities becomes an essential meta-skill.
Climate change: I haven’t been plugged into the climate scene (my last newsletter was published in 2024), but it’s back on my mind, in part due to the lack of snow this year. When I see the literal billions of dollars going into AI, the second order effects are straightforward to play out: more energy and not enough of the renewable kind to supply it. To be honest, I feel a bit stuck here. Policy change seems to be the strongest lever. The biggest opportunities in climate tech are hardware or in the physical world. Nonetheless, I’m keeping my eyes, ears, and mind open.
What I read this month
I resonated with this take and hope it is the future that actually unfolds, but I’m more pessimistic that most of us will continue to be mind-heavy and live in our heads. This piece does confirm what I’ve envisioned for my own life: time outside, moving (and feeling) my body, and as much in-person leisure time with friends. Grateful to have surfing, skiing, hiking, backpacking, running, biking, yoga, Hakomi, and more 🙏. Hopefully I’ll be able to visit Esalen at some point this year.
Ten years sober by Alex Olshonsky
An enthralling, harrowing reflection on what it’s like to suffer from addiction. As I was reading in the comfort of my apartment, I had to pee so bad, but I wouldn’t go until I got to the very end. The sheer intensity of addiction was eye-opening to me. I had lunch with Olo in 2024 and he’s completely turned his life around in a way that continues to inspire me.
A long piece on Shyam Sankar, CTO of Palantir. With how chaotic and polarizing the world seems to be these days, I appreciated this profile of a real human at a controversial company. It’s a reminder to refrain from holding hot beliefs on individual people or entire organizations without taking the time to understand them first.
Excellent Advice for Living by Kevin Kelly
Kevin Kelly is a modern sage who despite having obtained conventional success, got there without having to grind the rat race or compromise his values - many of which I can relate to. His latest book is an easy read of bite-sized wisdom. I noted the ones that hit me like a loving twack from Mr. Miyagi in Karate Kid or Master Oogway in Kung Fu Panda:
You don’t need more time because you already have the time that you will ever get; you need more focus.
Don’t create things to make money; make money so you can create the things. The reward for good work is more work.
If your goal does not have a schedule, it is a dream.
Don’t ever work for someone you don’t want to become.
Figure out what time of day you are most productive and protect that time period.
When you find something you really enjoy, do it slowly.
Art before laundry.
Intentions for March
Find my writing rhythm again. Process > Outcomes.
More movement. It’s getting warmer here in Palo Alto. We spring forward on the 8th and then the sun will set at 7:30 or later. The sun is out and I must go.
More unscheduled “Me time”.
More internal stability. The outside world is getting crazier and more volatile - at least that’s my perception. I’ll meet it with more chill vibes from the inside, hopefully.
